LA FUMEE CA PIQUE LES YEUX, Chapitre 2
Ca ait des heures que je suis seul dans cette putain de chambre. Peut être même des jours, des mois ou des années, je sais plus et je m'en fout.
L'infirmière rentre. C'est à peine si je m'en aperçois. Je garde les yeux dans le vague.
_ »Alors, Hugo, » elle me dit « Comment vas tu aujourd'hui?...Le docteur m'a dit que tu ne voulais toujours rien avaler. Tu devrais au moins me parler, à moi. Ca te ferais du bien, tu sais. »
Je répond pas, je la regarde pas. J'existe plus, nous ne sommes plus du même monde.
Et pis, je m'en fout de manger. Ils ont mit des aiguilles dans mon bras et ils me donnent à manger comme ça, puisque je veux pas être raisonnable.
Je m'en fout d'être raisonnable, je suis mort. Et pis ça me fais même pas mal leurs piqûres, je ne sens plus du tout le mal. Il n'y a plus que ça en moi: du mal.
C'est dommage, je suis sure que je l'aurais bien aimé, avant, cette jolie infirmière avec son sourire et ses grands yeux tout bleus. Elle me parle des oiseaux qui chantent dehors et de fleurs de toutes les couleurs qui vont bientôt s'ouvrir.
Je ne l'écoute pas. Je suis en exil dans un pays où c'est toujours l'hiver.
Lassée de parler à mon cadavre, elle fini par s'en aller. moi je m'en fout, je fixe le plafond.
Ma vie continue à couler dans le tuyau qui va jusqu'à l'aiguille plantée au creux de mon bras. La vie bat encore dans mes veines, dans mes tempes.
Mais c'est juste de la vie pour de faux. En vrai, je sais bien que moi aussi je suis mort.
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